


Spider-Man Day

by space_rogue



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Dialogue Heavy, Dom/sub Undertones, Domestic Fluff, Established Peter Parker/Wade Wilson, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Light Dom/sub, M/M, POV Peter Parker, angsty bois being showered in love and affection, no beta we die like men, wade is sweet but Too Much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:14:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25671901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_rogue/pseuds/space_rogue
Summary: Wade wants to celebrate something called "Spider-Man Day." Things quickly get out of hand.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41





	Spider-Man Day

**Author's Note:**

> I know I'm a day late but I had to write something to celebrate Spider-Man Day

“Happy Spider-Man Day, baby boy!”

“What?!”

Peter whirled around just in time to narrowly dodge the 210 pounds of scarred, naked muscle flying at him from across their kitchen. Unfortunately, Wade knew him well enough to anticipate Peter’s evasive action, and he ended up engulfed by all his boyfriend’s limbs anyway.

Grunting halfhearted protestations against the pec smashed in his face, Peter desperately tried to keep the coffee in his mug as he moaned, “It’s too early for whatever this is.”

“Au contraire!” Wade boomed, squeezing Peter tighter against his chest. “It’s never too early to shower my favorite superhero of all time in LOVE!”

“You do that every day,” Peter gave Wade an affectionate squeeze before extricating himself from the tangle of limbs. He carefully placed his (still miraculously full) coffee mug on the counter and turned to look at Wade again. “This seems like… more than usual. You know my birthday isn’t until October, right?”

“Of course I know that. I’m a good little queer and I looked up your entire star chart as soon as we started dating, you graceful, selfless, little Libra.”

Peter opened and closed his mouth. “I have several questions. But they’re gonna wait because I’m curious. You know it’s not my birthday, so what is all this about?”

“It’s Spider-Man Day!” Wade exclaimed, as if Peter was supposed to know what that meant.

“It’s what?”

“Spider-Man Day!” Wade said again, a hint of impatience tinging his tone. “It’s the day we celebrate when Spider-Man entered the comic book universe in 1962!”

Alright, Peter knew he thought this somewhat often, but – was it possible Wade had _actually_ lost it this time? He tactfully kept this thought to himself and decided to get more information. “Babe… I’m turning 30 this year. There’s no way I existed in 1962.”

“Your comics did!”

“…how?”

Wade pushed out a long-suffering sigh and leapt to sit on the counter beside Peter. “Alright. We can have this conversation _again_. But pay attention this time! So there’s tons of different universes out there with all kinds of versions of us—”

“—making a lot of assumptions about the multiverse theory but okay—”

“Shush! Turn your super smart science brain off for two seconds – I’m doing the teaching now!” Peter glared at Wade but kept his mouth shut. “Good. Alright, so lots of universes, lots of versions of us. The version _we_ (like… this version of us. The coolest version. Trust me, I’ve met a lot of the other guys and they are _douchecanoes_ —”

“Focus.”

“Right-O! The version that you and I are living in right now, the universe you’ve been in your whole life, is called Earth-616. It’s definitely the coolest one, all the top heroes are here. But there’s another universe that is distinctly _uncool_ because superheroes/superpowers don’t exist AT ALL in that gross place. It’s called _shudders_ Earth-1218.”

“Did you just _announce_ that you were shuddering instead of actually doing it?”

“It’s part of the dramatic effect! Anyway, Earth-1218 is shitty because there are no heroes and no powers so instead they have to make up fake stories about cool stuff in the form of comic books. And your first time being in a comic book was August 1st, Earth-1218 year 1962!”

“Gotcha.” Peter turned and grabbed a banana out of the fruit bowl. “Well this has been super informative, but I gotta get to work. Thai for dinner?”

Wade jumped off the counter and enveloped Peter in yet another rib-crushing hug, this time punctuating it with a dozen kisses around Peter’s face and hair. “Don’t! *kiss* You! *kiss* Worry! *kiss* Your! *kiss* Pretty! *kiss* Little! *kiss* Head! *kiss* About! *kiss* Dinner! *kiss*”

“Ugh, you weirdo.” Peter grumbled, but it was somewhat undermined by the huge grin he couldn’t suppress. “I’ll probably be home around four. I hope.”

“See you around midnight, then!”

“Very funny.” Peter stuffed the banana into his bag and pulled his bike helmet under his arm. He leaned up to give Wade a peck on the cheek before turning toward the door.

Wade growled and grabbed Peter’s forearm, pulling them roughly back together. Peter swallowed his irritation when he saw the fierce look in Wade’s eyes. “What?” Peter teased, smirking slightly.

“I’m gonna need a better kiss than that before you go be a big bad breadwinner.”

“Ask nicely.”

“Can I have a better kiss than that before you go be a big bad breadwinner?”

“I said _nicely_.”

Wade’s face seemed to melt, the hard lines of his brow fading and his jaw going slack. His eyes stayed intense as ever, but became soft and warm. Peter suppressed another smirk, still amazed at how well his Command voice worked on Wade after all these years.

“May I please have a real kiss, Sir?”

“Good boy.” Peter said softly, reaching up slightly to bring their lips together. Wade lost his restraint at that point and let his tongue lead the way, sliding and nipping his way into Peter’s mouth. Peter let him, and was rewarded by Wade’s satisfied moan reverberating down his own throat. Grazing his teeth over Wade’s bottom lip as they pulled apart, Peter chuckled as he felt Wade grope his ass quickly (for good measure).

“I love you.” Wade murmured, burying his face in Peter’s neck.

“Love you too.” Peter gave Wade a quick kiss and pulled away, fixing his shirt and readjusting the bag on his shoulder as he went. He turned and walked to the door, laughing at Wade’s ridiculous display of blowing kisses and batting his eyes. “Happy Spider-Man Day!”

* * *

It only took 10 minutes into his commute for Peter to realize that _maybe_ he should be taking “Spider-Man Day” a little more seriously.

“What the—?” Peter skidded his bike to a stop, narrowly avoiding a collision with several recycling bins. He whipped the front tire around and glided slowly up the sidewalk. He wanted another look at the graffitied wall he’d just passed. Sliding to a stop in front of the empty building, Peter’s jaw dropped as he got a better look at what had been painted on the bricks.

It was a painting of Spider-Man, but it was unlike any rendering of his alter ego Peter had ever seen. Besides the fact that it was at least ten feet tall and composed of the most garish versions of the classic red and blue possible, this Spider-Man was made to look almost sickeningly heroic. Hands on his hips, chiseled jaw (where did that come from??) defiantly tilted to the sky, feet spread and ready to leap into action – Peter wished that was the worst of it. But no, the artist had taken everything several steps further and painted not only a gigantic golden crown on Spider-Man’s head, but also had him surrounded by a small army of adoring fans. People of all genders swooned around his feet and tiny speech bubbles articulated their love and appreciation in the sappiest ways. If Peter had had any doubt at all who was responsible for this travesty, it was squashed by the fact that Spider-Man’s butt was on full display, looking cartoonishly round.

“ _Wade_.” Peter growled. He felt blood rush to his face as a group of teenagers walked by, gawping and giggling at the ridiculous art on the wall. Peter had a sudden urge to burn down the building.

Peter took a deep breath and got back on his bike. He forced himself to ignore the teenagers. Pedaling furiously away from the horrible mural, Peter pushed the murderous thoughts from his mind and reminded himself that Wade was a weirdo and that was one of the reasons why Peter loved him. And even though it was embarrassing, the graffiti was also kind of sweet. It would need to be destroyed immediately, but the thought was… nice.

Shaking himself mentally, Peter resolved to carry on with his day as normal.

* * *

Unfortunately for him, there was no such thing as “normal” when you were a superhero and your boyfriend was a sweet but misguided ex-mercenary.

At first things were the typical kind of “normal” that Peter had grown to get used to after he started dating Wade. The fifty-one texts and DMs Wade sent before 10am, all declaring his love for Spider-Man in one way or another, were to be considered typical. The five dozen black and red roses – although they earned Peter several questioning stares from some of the newer interns – were also par for the course when it came to dating Wade. Even the seven separate deliveries of takeout (all from different places, of course) were something Peter had dealt with before.

Wade had done all of these (and more) for their anniversary or Peter’s birthday at some point. It was just a little extra weird that Wade was performing these acts in August, for a “holiday” that Peter was 99% sure was completely fake outside of Wade’s mind. Even so, this was a level of weird Peter could handle.

Things started to go off the rails when Samantha came into Peter’s office and shoved her phone in his face, displaying a piece of breaking news.

“Wait, what’s going on?” Peter asked, slightly dazed. He had been focusing intently on a report about some old Osborne tech that had been found recently and it took a second for him to pull himself back to reality enough to process the phone in front of his face.

“Thought you might be interested in this video about a situation at Rykers right now.” Samantha said coolly, handing him the phone. Peter’s attention was piqued immediately. The reporter on the screen was just starting her intro.

“—sources inside the infamous prison say it is unclear how the parcels were able to get past security and reach their desired targets without interference, but authorities are looking into the situation closely. One thing is clear: all of the targets had one thing in common – a sticky past with the vigilante Spider-Man, who is the reason why all of the targeted people are in Rykers to—"

Peter yelped and struggled not to drop the phone. “What kind of parcels were they, Samantha?!”

“Calm down, dude. It wasn’t even anything serious. I just thought you’d be interested because you used to take pictures of a lot of those guys.”

“ _What were the parcels_?”

Samantha rolled her eyes and snatched her phone back. “Jeez, alright – they were just flaming piles of dog shit and some weird drawings that look like they were done by a kid. Mainly just threatening to dismember them and stuff. Actually, I thought it was kind of funny, serves those assholes right—”

Peter didn’t bother to stay long enough to hear the rest of the conversation. He was out of his office before Samantha could ask where he was going, already yelling to Robbie that he would be taking a late lunch as he practically sprinted to the elevator, his phone in his hand before he even made it to the doors.

In the elevator, Peter frantically called Wade. His boyfriend picked up on the first ring.

“Snookums! Did you like my presents?”

“Why are you sending dog shit to my villains in prison?!” Peter demanded. On the other end of the phone line, Wade laughed.

“Oh yeah that’s definitely the best present yet. Wasn’t sure when you’d hear about that. Hilarious, right?”

“NO, Wade, it is _not_ hilarious!” he hissed. “If you can get stuff like that past the guards that means other people can too – which is _dangerous_!”

Wade snorted unhappily. “Petey, just because _I_ can do something doesn’t mean a random Joe Schmoe off the streets will be able to do it. Relax! I got skills and I put ‘em to good use.”

“You think that’s a good use of your skills?”

“Uh, yeah. It was a great prank and no one got hurt. And now your villains are quaking in fear on the inside, happily protected by prison walls!”

“I don’t want that!” Peter paced the elevator in agitation. “I don’t care about people ‘quaking in fear’ of me! Not even my villains.”

Through the cell phone, Peter could practically hear the confusion that was no doubt written all over Wade’s face. “But… I didn’t hurt anyone. I don’t know why you’re mad.”

Peter sighed, stepping into the lobby and through the double doors to the street outside. “I’m not mad. I’m… I guess I’m nervous. I don’t like the idea of anyone sending stuff to those guys, even you.”

“What, you don’t trust me?”

“Of course I trust you! Wade, I love you. And I know you would never help any of them. It’s just… an uncomfortable idea, them getting stuff sent directly to their cells in Rykers. I don’t like it and that’s got nothing to do with you.”

“Hmf. Alright, well enjoy the rest of your Spider-Man Day, baby boy!”

“I—the rest of— _what_?!” Peter stammered. But Wade had already hung up.

That didn’t bode well for the rest of the afternoon.

* * *

Peter was absolutely right. Everything went to hell a few hours later.

“EVERYONE GET ON THE GROUND AND TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK J. JONAH JAMESON IS!”

Peter dove under his desk as he heard the unmistakable click of a gun being cocked. Why hadn’t his Spidey-senses warned him a gunman was entering the building?! He grabbed his bag and started plotting ways to get to the supply closet without being noticed.

“WHERE IS HE? SOMEONE TELL ME RIGHT NOW!”

“Corner office!” Peter heard someone yell. He ducked low and made a beeline for the closet, making it inside just as he heard a huge amount of glass breaking behind him. Hurriedly ripping off his civilian clothes, Peter snapped on his webshooters and slid the mask over his head. Crawling out the small window helpfully placed at the upper back wall of the closet, Peter was on the roof in record time.

Grateful that he had an idea of where the gunman was headed, Peter sprinted across the rooftop and dropped quickly at the corner, swinging easily into Jameson’s office through the broken window. Peter openly gasped when he processed the scene waiting for him in the office.

“No one can save you now, Jameson! Mua ha ha!”

“DEADPOOL!”

Wade whipped around to face Peter, fully costumed with a gun to JJ’s head. He looked gleeful, despite the obvious terror pouring out of JJ and the utter rage emanating from Peter.

“Spider-Man! Help!” Jameson gurgled.

“Yeah, now you want his help, huh buddy?” Deadpool crooned, pressing the gun harder against JJ’s temple. “Convenient, that now you’re in danger you think he’s a hero and not a menace.”

“Deadpool, drop the gun.” Peter snarled.

Wade laughed. “Make me!”

Fury bubbled in Peter’s chest as he shot a web at the gun in Wade’s hand, effectively pulling it away from the mercenary and tossing it across the room. “Let him go.”

“What, no quips? Where’s the sass, Webs? I feel entitled to at least a little snark for picking a fight with—”

Peter didn’t let Wade finish speaking, he just sprinted forward and punched him in the throat. Wade coughed and opened his arms enough for Jameson to pull himself away.

“Get out of here.” Peter snapped at JJ, who nodded briefly and ran out of his office. Still bent over and sputtering, Wade drew a sai from his thigh holster and leaped toward Peter, who dodged him easily. “What the _fuck_ do you think you’re doing??” Peter spat under his breath.

Wade grinned so broadly it showed through his mask. “I’m helping you, baby boy! You’re doing great. Watch it, I’m going left—”

Ignoring the comment, Peter punched Wade directly in the face, feeling the _crunch_ of Wade’s nose under his knuckles. Wade laughed wetly.

“ _Ouch_ , Jesus – you’re really selling it, sweetie. Alright. I’m gonna put you in a headlock—”

“This isn’t a game, Wade!” Peter said desperately, trying to keep his voice quiet. He dodged Wade again and grunted in frustration. Wade threw a small knife at him but it went wide, not even close enough to trigger Peter’s Spidey sense.

Hoping to end the confrontation before an innocent bystander got hurt, Peter rushed Wade with a yell and kicked his legs from under him, knocking the wind from Wade’s lungs with a well-placed hit at the same time. Wade wheezed roughly, but still managed to snarl, “Dude, you’re actually hurting me a bit – lay off!”

“You wanted a fight with Spider-Man? You got it.” Peter spat.

Wade leapt to his feet and threw another knife at Peter. This one grazed his shoulder, just barely drawing blood. “Fine, but I can make this look realistic too.”

Gritting his teeth in pain and anger, Peter jumped onto the wall beside Wade and attacked from above. Wade side-stepped but wasn’t quite fast enough to get completely out of the way as Peter wrapped his thighs around Wade’s neck and brought them both crashing to the floor. Keeping a knee on the small of Wade’s back, Peter pulled one of his arms around so Wade was pinned to the floor completely. “Stop.”

“Or what? You’ll break my arm?”

Peter pushed Wade’s face into the carpet roughly. He could feel genuine anger rising like lava in Wade, who was no doubt frustrated about Peter’s lack of enthusiasm for this little game. Sure enough, Peter felt Wade’s bones crack in his hand as Wade twisted himself out of Peter’s grip, breaking his own arm in the process. Peter gasped in horror and backed away, hoping Wade would just give up. With one arm loosely swinging at his side, Wade’s other arm started reaching behind his back, reaching for a katana—

Realizing the rest of this fight couldn’t take place in front of his entire office, Peter grabbed Wade around the waist and threw him out the window. He dove after Wade and caught him just above the pavement, letting him drop about five feet. Wade rolled into an alley and spat blood onto the concrete.

“Why are we down here? You’re supposed to make sure everyone at the Bugle sees what a badass Spider-Man is!”

“That’s what this is about? Are you fucking serious, Wade?”

“I’m trying to help you!”

“How?” Peter snarled, advancing angrily on Wade, who stood his ground. “How is this helping me?”

“Well it didn’t exactly work out as planned!” Wade ripped off his Deadpool mask, revealing furious eyes and a face covered in blood. “You broke my nose!”

“What did you think was gonna happen when you came to my workplace and threatened everyone with a gun?”

“I didn’t threaten everyone, just Jameson!”

“ _Why_ , though?”

Wade stood in uncharacteristic silence for a few moments, just staring at Peter and breathing heavily. “Fuck this. Never mind. I’m going home.”

“Wade—”

“Stop.” Wade growled, fully drawing his katana and keeping Peter at an arm’s length. Peter stayed where he was. “I’m going home.”

“ _Wade_.” Peter said softly. Something in his tone made Wade turn back to look at him. “Just talk to me.”

Sheathing the katana, Wade sat on a pile of garbage and cradled his broken arm. He gritted his teeth like it would stop the words from coming out of his mouth. “I just want everyone in the world to love you as much as I do.” he said quietly.

Carefully, gently, Peter approached Wade and knelt beside him. “Babe,” he whispered. “that is so stupid.”

As Peter had hoped it would, that made Wade laugh. “I know.”

“It’s stupid. But it’s also very sweet.”

“Yeah?” Wade asked hopefully.

“Mostly stupid, though.”

“Yeah.”

“Come here.” Peter sat beside Wade and pulled him in for a hug, wiping as much of the blood off his face as he could.

“Sorry I threw a knife at you.”

“It’s okay, I’ll be healed by dinner.”

“Me too.”

“That doesn’t make it okay.”

“I already said sor—”

“No, I mean it wasn’t okay of me to break your nose. I’m sorry.”

“I kinda earned it. I shouldn’t have attacked Jameson, even if he is a slimy no-good sack of testicles.”

“Yeah. I’m okay with lots of people hating me, though. It’s just something you’ll have to get used to, too.”

Wade grunted. “All those people are slimy no-good sacks of testicles.”

Laughing, Peter replied, “Maybe. But they’re allowed to have their opinions. Just like we know there are people who think you’re a murderous psychopath – they’re wrong, but you don’t see me attacking innocent civilians to prove it to them.”

“That’s fair. You still gonna be home by midnight?”

Peter smiled weakly. “Should be. Might be a few hours late since I’ve got a bit of a mess to clean up here, but I’ll be home as soon as possible. Promise.”

“Okay.”

* * *

Luckily for Peter, the rest of the day passed without incident. After a quick stop to get a coffee, he returned to the Bugle pretending to be shocked about what had happened while he was “out.” Jameson was on a rant about another “red menace working with Spider-Man to terrorize the city” but luckily didn’t make the staff stay too much later than usual.

Peter was eager to get home but also slightly dreading it – what if Wade had done something else ridiculous and over the top in honor of “Spider-Man Day”? What if this time he accidentally hurt someone, or put Peter’s secret identity in jeopardy? As Peter walked up the stairs to their apartment he braced himself before opening the door—

—and walked directly into a heavily decorated shrine to Spider-Man that had taken over their kitchen. Newspaper clippings, children’s art, letters, comic book pages, action figures, stuffed animals, and all kinds of other representations of Peter’s alter ego stared down at him from every surface and every available inch of wall space. Peter gawked at the Spider-Man string lights dripping from the ceiling, the red and blue paper hearts pasted across every appliance, the “Spidey symbol” confetti layering the floor along with rose petals. And best of all, Wade was standing right in the middle, holding a pepperoni pizza and wearing nothing but a lacey pair of women’s Spider-Man themed panties.

“Hi, Pete.” Wade said, grinning from ear to ear. “Happy Spider-Man Day!”

“What—” Peter stumbled into the room, bewildered, and dropped his bag. “How did you— what is all this?!”

“Proof that lots of people besides me love you.” Wade replied, still grinning as he looked around the room to admire his handiwork.

“Where did you even get all this?!”

“Aunt May, MJ, and I have quite the stash, between us.” Wade chuckled. “Some lady named Felicia had a bunch of stuff too but I’m not giving any of _that_ back.”

“This is amazing.” Peter said breathlessly. “ _Thank you_.”

“May and I had a little bit of a chat while I was at her place,” Wade said casually, leaning against a counter. “She pointed out that I do a lot of big gestures in public so everyone in the world will know how loved you are, but that doesn’t really matter as long as _you_ know how much I love you. So… this.”

Beaming with joy and pride, Peter lunged forward and pulled Wade in for a fierce kiss. Thankfully Wade had the wherewithal to place the pizza on the counter first, then returned the kiss enthusiastically. “You are the best boyfriend I could ever ask for.”

“Right back atcha, Petey.”

“Also those panties are _incredible_ but I’m gonna take ‘em off as soon as we eat this pizza.”

“Oh, just you wait – turns out there’s _quite_ a market for Spider-Man sex toys. I’ve been saving them for a special occasion.”

“Spider-Man Day is officially my favorite holiday.”


End file.
